As much as I loved being here, I hate that my husband could not enjoy this time with me, but thats just part of deployment I guess. I hate that I get to experience this, while he is where he is. One day soon, I hope he will stand next to me as we enjoy this sunset together.
So, who works out everyday at the gym at a Marriott resort when the beach is within walking distance? Apparently this girl does.
Yeah, thats right. I have spent pretty much everyday at the gym here. I want to get a jump start on my new year's resolution. Although I still have a good amount of this deployment left to go, I want to make sure that I achieve my goal before he gets home. Since r&r I have been more aware of how much work I have to do regarding my weight loss. Even in the beginning of this deployment, I have daydreamed of his homecoming. Of the day I get to run into his arms again. I keep having this visual of running from the bleachers, in a cute short 40's vintage summer dress, my hair curled and flowing as I race toward my husband open arms. I can see myself almost leaping at him and hugging him tight as if saying "I'll never let you go again." In this daydream, this vision that is always in my head, I see myself back at the weight I was at this time last year. A size 6, with my slender waist and shaped legs.
I want to make the dream a reality. I want to get back to this weight before my husband comes home so that instead of saying later on, this was my dream for his homecoming, I can say this WAS his homecoming.
In the past, my weight has always "yo-yo'd." I will lose and then gain. All throughout high school, I was a size 4. My driver's licence, that I got when I was 16, still says "wt: 117." Yes, at one point I was a tiny 117 lbs. I have gained just a tad since then. This time last year, I had just finished with p90x, my weight was somewhere in the 150's, which is a normal weight for my height but still seemed a little heavy to me. But I had gained a good amount of muscle during my workouts with p90x and my smaller body was pretty toned. I was happy with my results.
I can remember at one point, walking around Walnut Creek with my dad, as we were waiting for our appointment to see a wedding venue. If you have walked around downtown Walnut Creek before, you might know that during the day, a lot of the building have refections.
I know this, because I was able to fit into my "skinny jeans" and I couldn't help but look at my new body in the buildings as I walked by. Haha. Crazy I know, but I think it was the first time I realized just how much my hard work had paid off.
But I got too comfortable and thought that now that I was skinny again, I could go back to eating the way I did in high school. Which was eating basically whatever I wanted and not having to worry about the consequences, and I won't lie.....I got lazy. Which is why i gained the weight back. Then with the stress and loneliness of deployment.....well....lets just say that didn't help my case.
But I have gotten to the point now, that I really want my body back. To the point where I am actually working out everyday during my VACATION. I honestly can't believe I let myself get to this place. This is the heaviest I have EVER been in my life and I am embarassed.
But I am determined. I want to lose AT LEAST 30 lbs before my husband's homecoming. I know it is possible, but it is not going to be easy. Especially since I have gotten into a bad routine during this deployment, of eating fatty foods and not working out nearly enough. So my jump start is now, if I can workout during my vacation, maybe I will continue when I return to Colorado. My plan is to start p90x when I get back. I know this is probably going to be hard for me. P90x requires me to workout pretty much 7 days a week (one day is kind of a rest/stretch day) for 90 days. And I won't lie, I get tired of the same workouts and will talk myself into not working out that day. But I can't afford to do that now. Even if I don't want to do that certain p90x workout if I can at least get cardio in that day. Whether it be running on the treadmill, putting in my "Biggest Loser" DVD or even just finding something on "Exercise TV." But I have to be working out 6 days a week and watching my diet. If I can stick to this plan, I could very well be 30 lbs lighter by the time this deployment is done.
Whew! Ok, I really need to stick to it and I know I can. I just can't allow myself to get lazy again. I think to keep myself on track, I will blog at least every week on my weight loss journey. I will be honest, even if that means blogging one week, that I have gained weight instead of lost. Seeing my progress here may keep me focused to finish what I started.
Here's to being skinny again!! Or as Leighann and I chant....and giggle.... during some of our workouts "I WILL BE SKINNY!!!"
Just now, as I type my mom comes to me with a mexican menu for a restuarant called "Sharkys" (which I have never heard before in my life) and asks what I would like to have for dinner. Now, mexican we knew is not very healthy but I managed to pick a plate with wild salmon, brown rice and steamed broccoli. I didn't know any of that would be on the menu, but it was. Go me! ;-)
Ok girls, heres to getting skinny....again.
Stay postives ladies, we are getting much closer to homecoming.
Life REALLY is beautiful...
Happy Holidays!
This is beautiful <3
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